Plastic defence of a flesh woman
Is Kate Middleton too thin? Yes. Obviously, yes. We here at tablahblah are working with close friends of the Duchess in order to help her identify and strive for the Ideal Weight. As yet, Kate is unreceptive to our interventions.
As these privately gathered pictures show, Kate is struggling through the sometimes together, oft-apart marital state that is unique to royalty by working on her appearance.
Of course, having access to the Royal millions and many London connections, Kate is able to achieve consultations with the most sought after and even quite highly skilled plastic surgeons. Much as with images of Princess Diana, who some would say was her “predecessor” in the media limelight and the hearts of the public, it is possible to look at pictures of the young newlywed from different angles and clearly speculate that there may have already been work done on the face of this classic English Rose.
We’ve all heard someone making comments about how thin Kate’s arms look, and we can see here that there’s an obvious plastic-y texture to her body. Making her maiden speech as a Royal to sick children might not have been such a good idea when Kate is obviously something less than a role model to today’s youth.
Can’t you be happy with the body you were born with, Kate?
Coming next week: the permenant damage that women like Kate do to their feet by wearing crippling skyscraper heels.
When offered the part of the Virgin Mary, the Duchess replied in a manner that cannot be repeated. However it is of course traditional that the Royal Family become involved in the country’s Christmas celebrations, and as such – and as the newest member of the family – she was most unusually allowed to choose her own role.
Tabloids are shitting themselves in embarrassment after predicting that K-Middy WOULDN’T wear the “Carnival-ispired” creations seen from Issa at London Fashion Week. She’s done it again! Pushed the envelope and pushed it hard!
Spotted out shopping in the boring, dull, achingly backward and generally no good countryside (ugh), her Duchiness showed that the one thing wrong with Issa’s designs were – no surprise – a lack of natively-sourced resources! BRITISHNESS! Seen here in a custom-made headdress and torso decoration, it’s clear that the lesser known giant pheasant is due for a comeback in fashion circles soon. Kate wears its feathers to perfection, and shows that even a Prince can’t expect to spend time at work saving lives and leave his mature, considered and understanding life-partner at home.. and expect her to sit and do the shopping quietly! What a stupid bastard! Let’s all hope their marriage fails!